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I wondered how long this could last. Maybe someday years from now - if the pain would just decrease to the point where I could bear it - I would be able to look back on those few short months that would always be the bes of my life. And, if it were possible that the pain would ever soften enough to allow me to do that, I was sure that I would feel graterul for as much time as he'd given me. More than I'd asked for, more than I'd deserved. Maybe someday I'd be able to see it that way.
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