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"- So what is your plan to do today (at work)? - Well, I want to get down on one knee and ask..... but that wouldn't matter and wouldn't change......"
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Please God, give me strength, patience and lots of love to keep it all together – if there is still hope to do that.
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To be honest I don’t even know why the situation has complicated so much recently.
I am not sure if that is the constant anger about everything around, the tiredness, lack of time spent together, laziness… Maybe our feelings have changed? Or maybe it is all of the pointed-out reasons?
I have no idea, but I know if this is how it will look like, then the possibility that we will be able to keep it together is close to zero…
I hate myself for even thinking that way. I really hate myself right now. Got a feeling it is all my fault, which is not completely. Apparently, the blame is always situated in the middle or both sides – same meaning. I just feel tired of ups and downs in this relationship, I just wish that would be over now, my life would be over.
I guess everyone would be happy about it.
Sometimes I feel that I am just a huge stone and dragging everybody down.
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Oh, why the life needs to be so difficult??
It is all about making the right decisions. But what if there are no good choices available? There will always be someone who will be hurt more, damaged more, broken more than the other person. And it doesn’t matter what choice you make. You will always be the bad person in someone’s eyes.
I wish I could just run away and not need to make any of the choices. This makes my life even more miserable. And I hate myself for keeping it that way, but at the moment I don't want to do anything that could potentially hurt one of them.
I really need to pack it in, grow up and make a final decision.
I am tired of pretending and being undecided all the time. It is a real pain in the ass.
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It is so easy to pretend in front of other people that your relationship is so good and perfect, but in the reality you barely holding it together...
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" I love how this conversation started over not having to delete stuff and now it all has to go.. LOL - I know. It's not how this conversation should go at all..."
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" - It is more likely to be my fault than yours. - Would you like to elaborate? I guess that the reason it is your fault it's because you like it too much, but in the same time you should really tell me to stop doing it. Stop texting you or caring about you and showing the attention... - Nothing else needs to be said now... - Does it not? - Well, does it? - I mean, I do have another question but will leave it to myself for now."
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For fuck sake, just make up your fucking mind woman!!!!!!
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Kidnap me please and we'll run away to place where nobody will find us...
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I don't want to say it out loud, don't want to make it too real now.
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- It's freezing cold in here...
- Give me few seconds, I'll be there to cuddle you until you warm...
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"- Are you dreaming about me? - Do you really want to hear the answer? - Well, I am not sure now... - You should clearly know the answer by now, just from the sentence.... - Are they good dreams or nightmares then? - It depends from the dream, but usually the wonderful ones. Ehh..."
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